This year, I’m going to connect. CONNECT.
How wonderfully symbolic the inside of this thatched roof is: the core of who I am, broken into parts and elements, sensations and drives and people I know: connected, connected, connected.
I think of people of course; relationship is the most important thing in the world to me. But I also think of magnets and snaps and shoelaces. I think of connecting the dots, and God and Adam’s fingers almost connecting on the Cystine Chapel ceiling.
I think of colors swirling into sameness yet keeping their purity somehow intact.
Morguefile Photo by Tammcd
I think of the importance of words to connect our thoughts and feelings with others in sound. In song. In writing. And
Connection: Obviously A Natural Motif
I think of the sphere of all that I am, mindbodyspiritbraintoesheartliverbreathvoice in connection. A natural wonder, but sometimes it doesn’t COME so naturally, at least to me. I have to build bridges. Build my links.
Sometimes the connections aren’t terribly sturdy.
In August of last year I started to explore how to strengthen and oil the links to what I hold most dear.
Adding STRUCTURE to my life has helped me so much lately. Not only do I have my bullet journal, but I’ve added accountability with friends to help keep me focused and (a more important side effect) keep me connected to those friends.
An example of a daily accountability text.
With one friend, I share daily accountability texts of what my goals are. The next day we state if we made those goals and if not, why not. No judgement claimed or implied or looked for, but even this minor publication of what I’ve said I want to do can teach us both a lot about ourselves. And though extremely brief and often quite cryptic, these shared goals provide an intimate connection between the two of us.
With another friend, a writing buddy, we check in weekly on our progress with our more long-term goals. This keeps our friendship active, and it helps me honor my commitment to writing.
The accountability strategies help me with will power, help me keep the promises I make to myself about what I want to do with my time. I’m my own boss, and for someone who craves earning the approval of others, that’s not an easy situation to negotiate. I latch onto these strategies with gratitude.
Other kinds of connection require links that are not as easy to grease and strengthen. Or if it is easy, I haven’t figured out yet how to do it. For instance,the connection of my soul to the outside world requires an open heart, open and vulnerable and willing to expose itself. But I’m scared. How do I strengthen a courageous heart?
I keep hoping I’ll get so old I won’t care what others think about me. When will that fairy come around with its magic wand and instill trust in me? That’s the link I need most to work on, now I think of it: the trust that others enjoy, admire, and/or at least love me for who I am. And if they don’t, I don’t need to give a hoot because, hey, they broke my trust.
Trust will be my link to inner peace. I’m going to connect to trust and trust in connection.
2018–bring it on!
Happy New Year, everyone!
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